Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 


Invader Zim finds himself some Jesus: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/653870/1/

Words escape me beyond: "And this seemed like a good idea to you...how exactly?"

And so ends your daily dose of, "You son of a bitch, my day was going along just fine until you had to post that stupid link!" But in truth, I only hurt you all because I care. (I care about how priceless the looks of abject horror on your faces will be once you make it past chapter 1, mind you, but there's still caring in there somewhere.)
posted by Phillip at 9:31 PM

 


Today was all about paint. Happily paint on the walls and not the carpet, furniture or (most importantly of all) the pets. Our main areas are now sporting swanky new coats of paint that go together really well. I'm happy about this. At the very least, Mel is pleased to know that she can finally start putting up all sorts of pictures and shelves in the hall, living & dining room without having to worry of us painting around them.

But beyond that, it was a rather quiet day. Yesterday has more anecdotes. Mainly because yesterday was all about the African Lion Safari--now with non-pussified zebras! (Mel was particularly happy about that one.) It's been years since I was last there, and I have to say I really enjoyed spending the day at the park. So long as you're content to take your time and leisurely stroll around, there's a lot to see and do.

It is also perhaps the only place in the country where you can hear Mel exclaim, "Well, that's just great! Now I've got a baboon's assprint on my windshield!"

I only laughed until she demanded I get out of the car and clean it off. Though I was somewhat dismayed that all the SUVs around us were turning into baboon taxis. For the most part, none of the car-riding baboons were doing any particular damage to any vehicles. Almost all the riders were female baboons with very young babies clinging to their undercarriage. Apparently we were too good for them. All we got were a couple of seemingly drunken male juveniles who got into a very brief brawl on the hood of the car (wherein we received the aforementioned assprint).

I also got to reaffirm my love of birds of prey. If it wasn't for the fact that pretty much any of our other pets could get carried off as dinner, I'd love to be a falconer. Or at least moonlight as one. Then again...that just sounds like a really sad superhero. In other news, barn owls look adorable and need to start breeding more, dammit!

(Apparently there were only 1 or 2 breeding pairs in the wild in all of Canada, as far as the experts know and as of 1999. This vexes me greatly. I'll never get the chance to point to one flying around at dusk and tell Gabe, "See that? That's Jareth flying off to claim another kid for his labyrinth.")

What's that you say? Me, corrupt children?

Perish the thought!


Today's Lesson: sometimes it pays not to answer your phone.
posted by Phillip at 8:53 PM

 
Wow, one minute it was June and suddenly it got all July around here. Which explains why I'm desperately hot and fanning myself with one of those cool fans that one booth at Anime North was giving away. (And apparently everyone wanted once word leaked out about said fans.)

Canada Day was spent relaxing and cleaning. The rest of the pseudo long-weekend was spent working. I can't exactly complain, as it means money, and money is good as a means of paying for food, a home and other fun items on the upper eschelons of Maslov's hierarchy. On the downside, though, I did miss my sister hanging out in Kitchener for a while and subsequently sharing her disturbing-yet-funny-in-a-sadistic-sort-of-way experience of a wedding from hell. (Not hers, happily.)

All I can say is I have decided I owe her and Jorret a 12-pack of beers, just in the hopes it can help ease their pain.

As for the world from here on in, Mel's dad arrives tomorrow and stays until the end of the week. And somewhere in that time, we're all going to get high off the paint fumes, since we'll be painting pretty much all of the apartment. I'm rather optimistic about this. For as lacking as I may be in the handiwork skills, we couldn't possibly do a worse job than the former tenants, one of whom was a self-professed pro painter.

(Unless I managed to punch a hole in the drywall with my paintbrush and we discovered a skeleton inside. Then I might be inclined to think things aren't going so well...)

But I'd also like to take a moment to discuss spam. Yes, I know: spam already is on our screens enough, why should I actually bother to give it anything less than a rectal probe with the business end of a taser?

Consider for a moment: in my Inbox today is an Email claiming to have "cheap Viaagrra!" and other such misspelled anti-impotence meds. Something about the way they misspelled Viagra (deliberately, I rather think, to try & avoid the filters) disturbs me. Mostly because now all I can think of is Tony the Tiger with his hand in the air as he chants, "I'm errrrrrrect!"

That was your horrible, life-scarring mental image of the day. And no, I'm not paying the therapy bills for it.


Today's Lesson: this is not your week for having anything shipped to you. Trust me on this one. (Ask Mel if you're curious and have a free half hour you can devote to listening as to how she plans to strangle the nearest US-based UPS representative whose neck she can wrap her hands around. And that's not even mentioning the sofa...)
posted by Phillip at 7:16 PM